Using a Professional Photographer

Should I use a friend or hire a professional photographer?

I strongly recommend using a professional and not using a friend, especially not anyone in the wedding party. They will be much too busy and not get as many pictures as you are hoping for.  It's important to feel confident that the photographs you get are going to be great.

A professional will have a variety of ideas, act  professionally, set you more at ease, and overall come out with a much better product and experience. Pretty much anyone can take a good picture with the improving cameras being sold to the general population. But only a professional will get picture after picture right, with great lighting and angles. Yes, you can touch up amateur photos. As the Myth-busters proved you can in fact polish a poo. But professional photos will look better to start with, and could still be touched up, leaving an overall nicer quality.

Friends also tend to take more photos of the people they know whereas a professional will get a wider variety of people. Plenty of brides have no pictures of their own family, because their photographer was a friend of the groom's and so took mostly photos of his family and friends.

The biggest reason for not using a friend though is in case everything goes bad. Limit your risk. If you have a friend help with something else in the wedding and they mess up, it will be easier to fix or even do without. However,  if the photography was bad or ruined it would be days or maybe weeks before you knew. No one could run out and quickly fix it. You would simply have no pictures of a once-in-a-lifetime event. This is one thing that is way worth the money.

There are plenty of stories about people who had perfect photos taken by an amateur and others who hired a professional and things went sour. Trust me—there's always a story somewhere. But, it's worth it: hire a professional photographer.

Choosing a Photographer

Question

How do you find a really good photographer that won't cost an arm and a leg? Nowadays, with the availability of digital cameras and DSLRs it seems there are a ton more photographers to choose from. And more of them are more affordable, but we want to be sure to get someone who knows their stuff.

~Brittany

Answer

Brittany, thanks for the question! Although photography technology has changed a lot, the way you pick a good photographer is still pretty much the same:

• Shop around, don't hire the first one you talk to.
• Referrals from someone you trust are always better than a cold contact. If your friend goes on and on about how professional and creative her photographer was then that is a lot more to go on than a tag line on a web-site. Talk to people you trust, find out what photographers they have used and make a list. If you can't get referrals, then look possibles up at the Better Business Bureau or ask for references.
• Meet the photographer in person and have a chat before you make a decision. Make sure you like them and can accept their level of professionalism.
• Always look at the photographers portfolio. See if you like their style. Make sure you see all the photos from one wedding and not just highlights from their portfolio. After all even a broken watch is right twice a day.
• Ask them what is included in price. Expect your photographer to cost a lot. 

That's it in a nutshell. Of course there's more: Should I use a friend or hire a professional? How much should I shop around first? What kinds of fees and rights should I ask about? How can I protect myself from misunderstandings? These are all things I will blog about in the coming days.

Overall, it's best to work with someone reputable, who you like, that has good quality work at a price you can pay.

Well, I'm engaged. What now? — Parent Meeting

Yay! You're engaged! It's hard to know where to start when you get engaged. Do I buy my dress first? book a caterer? start a guest list? choose a ring? Well I'll tell you. 

First things first: have a meeting with you, your fiance and all parents. I call this the parent meeting. Many things should be handled at this meeting. Your agenda should include: introducing everyone; discussing a date, time and place for the wedding; choosing your wedding party; sharing preliminary ideas (such as people you have connections to that can help); and most importantly determine a budget and specifically decide how the expenses will be shared.

Discussing these things face to face right at the beginning will save everyone a lot of trouble throughout the whole planning process. It will help everyone to know what they're in charge of and what they can stay out of.

You may think some things are obvious or commonly agreed upon. Never assume that. Different people have very different ideas about what the same thing means. It brings to mind the stories from my childhood of Amelia Bedelia the literal housekeeper who "When she weeds the garden, she replants the weeds. And when she pitches a tent, she throws it into the woods."

Be specific in exactly who's taking care of what. And what does "taking care of" really mean? Does it mean paying for, planning, executing, or some combination of those? And who gets the final say? Trust me you'll be happier later if you clear these things up before they're a problem.

It's much easier to say at the beginning, "Don't make the food at home. I really don't want the stress of coordinating the food for my reception. I'll pay for a caterer just to give me peace of mind." Better that than trying to tell your aunt the same thing after she's already stayed up all night making gallons of her chicken salad that you can't help fearing will give everyone hives.

Questions

From time to time I'll open a post up to your questions in the comment thread. I'll answer them as quickly as I can. So fire away.

Jamba Juice Contest

Well, the Jamba Juice contest in officially over. While people did join the blog during the contest, no one mentioned who referred them. Therefore no one was eligible to win. Our next contest will be in January. (I'm open to suggestions for prizes under $20 you'd like to see.) I will still be doing new posts throughout the holidays. I know it's a busy time of year, thanks to everyone for helping to spread the word and welcome to my new followers.

Choosing a Precise Color

Choosing a color can be very fun, but it can also be tedious. It's important to be very clear about the exact color. For instance, when you say "blue," do you mean navy blue, periwinkle or turquoise? And even being that specific can get confusing. About a million people are going to ask you about your color and if things match you color and if things compliment your color and if your color likes their color. (You get the point.) So, it's best to choose a paint sample or fabric swatch and disperse it to anyone who will need to match it. For example: florists, dressmakers, cake decorators, bridesmaids and people doing centerpieces or other decorations. Just to name a few. ;)

When I was planning my wedding, my mother asked, "What color do you want?"

"Yellow," came my immediate answer. Was that enough? Oh no, we needed to know exactly what shade and tone. So my mother, my future mother-in-law and I took a field trip to the fabric store for an exact color decision. Do you have any idea how many shades of yellow there are in the world? A bajillion. (That's an exact count.)

After spending about 10 minutes with me and getting frustrated that I didn't really care which shade of yellow was chosen, my mother decided we'd split up in order to cover more ground. We were supposed to meet back at our current spot in 15 minutes with a few choices. I spent the next 15 minutes staring at a rack of fabric and imagining how great it was going to be being married and what a wonderful husband my fiance will be. All too quickly, my two mothers returned with their choices. I had nothing to show for my time alone. Not to fear, my mother had come prepared with several choices.

They showed me their options and I said, "I don't care they're all beautiful. I just want yellow." This last part was said with a whine as I had not yet matured to the completely decisive, all opinionated and non-whiny Ann that speaks to you today. My mother had a plan, she would narrow it down to a few. She would hold them up to me two at a time and ask, "Which one?"

"I don't care Mom"

"Come on Ann. Which one?"

"You pick. I don't care."

"Ann, it's your wedding. You choose."

I shrug and just point to one at random, "Okay, that one."

Mom then responded with a longing look at the opposite color and asked me, "Are you sure?"

"Mom! I don't care. Pick the one you like." Is it over? Are we done? Can we go home now? Am I married yet?

So, believe me, I know how frustrating getting down to the exact color can be. Just go with it and try to have fun.

Win a $5 Jamba Juice giftcard!

We're having a contest! For every person you refer who joins my blog, I will enter your name once into a drawing for a $5 gift card to Jamba Juice. (Okay $5 isn't a lot, but you're signing people up to read and talk about weddings and you all wanna do that anyway.) Have your friends put your name into the comment thread and I'll enter you into the drawing again and again! So if 10 people join from your referral, you get entered 10 times. New comers can get referrals as well. Simply click to "join this site" and then refer more friends. This contest will close on Friday, Dec 9th at 10am and I'll post the winner by noon that day. Good luck! No purchase necessary. Inanimate objects and employees of inanimate objects not eligible to win. Void where prohibited.

Holiday Wedding Decorations

When having a holiday wedding, many people choose to use the current holiday's natural decorations. This can be fun. You can have a nice Christmas or Easter or Patriotic wedding. Things may be cheaper and more readily available. It helps encourage you to use things that are currently in season which also brings down cost.

However, don't feel pressured to decorate your wedding for the holiday. It's your wedding. You can have it be whatever color or theme or decorations you want. Keep yourself open to suggestions and opinions of others, especially anyone whose contributing financially, and then choose what helps keep the feel you're hoping for.

My own wedding was right on top of Valentine's Day, and I didn't want the place surrounded by little naked cupids, red and pink hearts and tacky Sweetheart phrases like, "Puppy Love" and "Tweet me". (Okay, people didn't tweet when I got married, but you get the point.) So I had bright yellow and white summer daisies in the middle of winter! And guess what? It was beautiful and I'm just as married as I would have been with the Valentine's decor if that really is your heart's desire.

Choosing a Date

Many things affect the date you choose for your wedding. For example: school, work, family, weather and recommends. One thing to keep in mind as well is - the day you choose is not just for that particular year. That date will be your anniversary annually forever. Just keep that in mind before scheduling your wedding on say, New Year's Day.

Now I know that you have to take so many things into account that sometimes you have to do it near a holiday. Trust me, my anniversary is February 15th. But if it can be avoided you'll be glad in the long run, if you give yourself a bit of distance. Remembering this will also save you money on your wedding and every year at your anniversary, as holidays tend to inflate prices.

Holiday Wedding Budget

Planning a wedding around the holidays can sure stretch that budget. The number one way to save on a wedding? Cut the guest list. This helps you save in many ways. For example:

1. You don't need as many invitations. (Although you can still order announcements and send them out after the wedding. You'll be surprised how many people will send a gift.)
2. You can use a smaller venue.
3. You don't need as much food, flatware, cake or favors.

Stay tuned for more ways to save on your big day.

Newly Engaged?

Haven't been able to tell your engagement story enough? Tell me! I love to hear them.

Are you engaged?

When I got engaged 10 years ago, my fiance followed my ecstatic "Yes!" with a decided, "But you can't tell anyone yet."

"Um, excuse me? What? I'm engaged!" I'd waited my whole life to make that declaration and now that it was true I couldn't tell anyone? Okay Ann calm down, he might have a valid reason. "Why?" I ask. My sweet and thoughtful fiance explained that he wanted our parents to be the first to know and he didn't want to tell them over the phone. He wouldn't be home from college until that weekend. (2 days away) Hence the need to wait to reveal the big news.

I agreed and faithfully promised to not tell anyone. The next morning I was at work in the Discover Card collections department. When we called a customer and didn't reach them there were a series of questions we were to ask when leaving a message, such as: when will they be back, and is there a better number for them? The last question I always asked after leaving a message was, "And who am I leaving a message with?"

Well on my first call of the day, I sat bouncing in my seat, near to exploding with my once in a lifetime news. I couldn't reach the customer and so began the process of leaving a message. I systematically worked my way through the required questions, left a message, and stated my standard follow up question which came out a bit different then expected.

"And who am I getting married to?"

I slapped my hand over my mouth as the heads of all of my cubicle coworkers popped up and the woman on the other end of the phone chuckled and said, "Newly engaged are you?"

"Yes." I sheepishly replied.

"There's nothing like it," she came back with.

And isn't she right? There's nothing like being engaged.